So once again I proved that my motto is right: I only regret what I don't do. KC was in my bed last night and I couldn't do it; as with L I froze and pushed him off me. I fantasized about him for so long yet he left me cold; why is this? I really fancied L yet couldn't bear to think of him on top of me; sex with I and KG did nothing for me either. Is it all because of K? Is he the only man that will ever satisfy me? I feel so empty and sick because he hasn't text me back and there's this weird sense of deja vu where I keep thinking of all the others that I've had or nearly had since K. I will have to delete his phone number. I spoke about suicide and manic depression and pray he has forgotten it. He told me to call me if ever I need someone yet he won't text me back. He's such a darling and one day will be prime minister and is probably the kind of man I should marry. But "I hope this won't be awkward in production week." I feel utterly manic and want to be rid of it. I can't function and know I won't be able to until he gets in touch. Conclusion: men are quite literally bad for my health.